Crow is of Death, Crow is of Doom


Crow, God of War

Crow is a god who literally has nothing better to do than to amuse himself by meddling with mortals. He is self professedly evil; and can be downright nasty, but is not so much malicious as just extremely bored.

Character SummaryEdit

After the death of the gods and other mythological beings following Ragnarok, Crow ascended to divinity as the new God of War, replacing Aries. Bored and alone as the sole divinity, he decided to create the three Orbs of Conflict. Powerful artifacts that maintain the balance of the world and are able to grant whoever wields them godlike power. However, any disturbance to their normal functions would cause a worldwide imbalance over the elements each Orb controls. Also should any of the Orbs be destroyed, a great cataclysm would befall the world.

Crow finds the idea extremely funny and goes around tempting and helping people to find the Orbs and abuse their power, whether it be for benign or selfish reasons.


Ding Dong! The bastard's dead! And gone are all his witches and bitches!

Perched upon the Throne of War, never saying nevermore; The king who bathed in crimson's dead, and all his wenches have likewise fled. Who'll murder and plunder and rape? To serve Crow his eyeball dinner from a skull plate? Oh woe is Crow! Woe is Crow!

What's little Crow here to do? Master of all Crow surveys, but all Crow surveys is nothing. Nobody. Nada. Nyet but an empty room that doesn't exist. Only the Throne of War is real here, high atop the nothingness. And it's lonely at the top! Crow would fly up and perch upon the throne, just for a different perspective of the nothing; but it'd only be lonelier at the top of the top than at the top.

So here Crow sits on a vacated seat, talking to himself; hungry but never to hunger again. For Crow is now the God of War, as if that wasn't obvious enough. And Gods do not hunger, save for the one and only thing. Not in their bellies do they hunger. Very very veeeery seldom even in their minds. No! Nein! Not even in their minds! There is only one place where the Gods hunger. Crow knows now, knows why they're all such bastards and bitches. Because now Crow knows, knows where the Gods hunger. Gods only hunger in their boredom.

And so now Crow can tell of his master plan! Enough with the tragic pasts and the deep driving motivations! Now Crow will reveal unto thee, his evil intentions.

Master of Conflict; where conflict exists, Crow is the master. We will fight you on land, we will fight you at sea and we will fight you in the air!

In these three realms, Crow is in control, and in these three realms, Crow will surrender his control! On the Realm of Land, Crow gives his power to the Orb of Land. At the Realm of Sea, Crow gives his power to the Orb of Sea. And in the Realm of Air, Crow gives his power to the Orb of Air.

So long as the three Orbs of the Realms are left undisturbed, no true ill can befall the world. The Orbs provide balance. Their energy would envelope the world to imbue vitality and prosperity!

Kakaka! Kakakaka-kakaw!

Oh how Crow's heart is so joyful, he cannot help but laugh! Kukuku!

For indeed, the Orbs provide balance. But they also grant unto their owner, immense power. No ambition cannot be achieved; no dream cannot be made reality whenst one holds an Orb in their hands. Desire unlimited!

Yes, no true ill can befall the world... so long as the Orbs remain undisturbed. And why, should any of the Orbs be DESTROYED; well, goodness gracious... Crow will dine on eyeballs THAT night! Kukuku!


Crow is perfectly sane. That is one of the pitfalls of a divine stature.

But Crow is not a benevolent God; never claimed to be, never had to be. The Throne of War was empty, and Crow was forced to sit on it by process of elimination. i.e. There was no one else left to do so. Nasty business, Ragnaroks can be.

Nor is Crow cruel, that is a human concept. Crow might not go out of his way to give you food and shelter, but if Crow were cruel, he'd make it so the food was poisoned and the shelter was without a roof and it was always raining pure lightning.

No, Crow is Crow. Evil and nasty, yet without a shred of malevolence.

That is Crow.


   * Standard Strength
   * Standard Agility
   * Standard Body
   * Standard Mind

Powers and AbilitiesEdit

As a god, Crow's powers are wide and largely undefined. From shape shifting to healing to causing widespread catastrophe; where conflict is or can be involved, he is essentially omnipotent.

Conflict on Land

   * Power: Earth Quake
   * Level:Supreme 

Hear ye hear ye! All ye who are blighted by a rainless sky and a sun too warm in her affections. The earth is dry and cracked and even the the tribute of rotting carcasses are not enough to appease the corpse of Mother Gaia. But not so with the Orb of Land, for the Orb of Land will protect ye from the stench of her decay. It is the Orb which maintains the balance of conflict that rages unendingly upon the land. It is the Orb that ensures the plants grow, only to be ripped to shreds and devoured by the deer, who in turn is hunted down and tormented and murdered by the lion. And the deer is said to return to the land, which is to say the plants take REVENGE and EAT the deer back!

Hear ye hear ye! Whom shall ever be struck by the malaise of the land, be it the pestilence carried by the rat or the shaking and shattering of the very earth itself. Know that there is a cure! Whom shall ever seek to reap the rewards of the land, be it the gold hidden just beneath thy feet or the the shaking and shattering of thy enemies' walls. Know that there is a way! Seek thee the source of thy conflict with the land. Seek thee the Orb of Land, and the land shall submit to thy whims!

So proclaims the prophet.

Conflict at Sea

   * Power: Terrain Familiarity: Frozen Wastes
   * Level:Standard 

Aye m'lads, there is THAT story. They say it exists too. Th' way to calm the squall. There's even a map, or so's I heard. Of course, I'm talking about th' Pearl of th' Sea. Some call it different, Orb or something, it dun' matter really. I say it exists, but then I'm also sayin' it's just a story. Still... if it's true that th' way to always have th' wind on your back is in a treasure chest... if it's true that you'll have th' greatest catch of your life, every day for th' rest o' yer days is locked in Davey Jones' soddin' locker...

Well, just a story really. Besides m'lads, what's th' point? They say ol' Kracken's fish food anyway. And th' Sirens' sung their swan song. Make your fortune th' old fashion way I say! If th' Pearl really exists, it'd be th' ULTIMATE loose lips...

It sinks ships y'see... it's a jok-nevermind. Here's th' damn map to th' damn Pearl. Thanks for th' beer m'lads.

So says the crazy seaman.

Conflict in the Air

   * Power: Weather Control
   * Level:Supreme 


If you want to know; really really want to know, then Crow will tell it to you straight. Caw!

It's not that Crow is lazy to take the guise of humanity to tell you about the wonderful shiny thing which you can get if you bring Crow some meat. Six meats will do, Crow is not greedy. Crow is looking at you perplexingly, if in case you didn't notice the hint. Wink wink? No? Kukuku, fair enough.

If the rain and how it drops is a bother, would it not be best if it fell not altogether? If hail and lightning lay waste to your endeavor, why not make it lay waste to another? Preferably your unrelated brother!

The world they say is not fair, they say you work and toil while your wife's having an affair! That fat bastard who owns you has no flair, wouldn't it be neat to gut that pig and claim your lion's share? Rhyme rhyme rhyme, something to do with the Orb of Air!

You don't pay Crow enough meat to rhyme it all out. The prophecy's spoken, you know what to do if you have the guts to do it. Ca-caw!

So caws Crow.

God of Sharp and Pointy Combat

   * Power: Immunity: Sword Master
   * Level:Standard 

Eyeball heaven was the battle of 1337!

Not for nothing, but if Crow were to be introspective... okay, maybe not. Who has the energy here? Nobody that's who! The history of war is short, unless you count the chimps and lions and hyenas. But the history of conflict is long. But neither history was really interesting or important, until the HE came along. He always thought He was the big Kahuna burger with extra cheese, and in a way, maybe he was. He was certainly one of the most powerful of the Gods. But what that meant in practical God-like terms was simply that he was one of the most asinine Gods to every walked... anywhere really. He was just that big of a dick. With great power comes great bastardry, and that bastard God, who called Himself the One God, created Man in His image. Adam and Eve. The son and daughter of a son of a bitch. Adam was an asshole who got daddy to kick his girl out 'cause she wouldn't put out. And Eve... Eve's just a stupid lying bitch.

And Crow couldn't be happier about them.

Humans are SO interesting. Since they came along, conflicts have escalated, war just got more and more atrocious and the eyeballs were literally rolling in! Crow may have gotten to the throne by default, but Crow isn't without qualifications. Crow has seen it all, the ways to kill your loved ones. Let Crow count the ways... no, Crow can't count that high. Innate human bastardry rawks! Ca-cau!

How about a magic trick?

   * Power: Resistances: Arcane Lore
   * Level:Standard 

Any sufficiently advance genetics is indistinguishable from magic. Otherwise, it's just smoke and mirrors.

Unless you're a God and the one who placed the entire world on three rickety legs. Cosmic Keystones they call it. An element which is crucial to the continued wellbeing, nay, the very structure of the world itself. Something which makes no immediately apparent sense; to place a very limited yet imminently catastrophic flaws on the pillars of reality. Something totally unnatural to the natural flow of the universe, which promotes continued existence wheresoever possible; which could only be done out of some demented intelligent design.

In that case, in such a situation, if you're indeed such a God, and not only that, but due to some prophesied Divine World War, you're the only God LEFT, and the inheritor of all divine rights and mights... then yes, it could be magic.

Magic? Pfft! More like divine boredom.

Nice job breaking it hero

   * Power: Resistances: Avatar
   * Level:Standard 

Sorry, Zeus isn't in right now, he died along with Yahweh, Aries, the Jade Emperor and all the other Gods during Ragnarok. His eyes were delicious though. There is no Zuul, only Crow. And Crow is soooo bored right now, Crow ponders not speaking in the third person or even answering your prayers. But Crow won't. No reason, just because.

Oh, and also because Crow is evil. Was that not mentioned? No sappy and vindicating reason why either. Because there is no need, because there is no justification. It is simply in Crow's nature. Conflict was not thrusts upon Crow, it is simply Crow's desire. There are NO Gods left, just like there is no Santa, Crow did not have to settle for just the Throne of War. Everything was for the taking. But everything... was meaningless. Only the hunger mattered... only the hunger... the hunger...

Quoth the Crow: Fuck off mortal!